Monday, March 27, 2023

Garage/Estate Sale is History

We had the garage sale for my Mother's remaining things this past Saturday.  Things went very well.  Lots of customers and we were able to unload a lot of her things.  Not a lot was made monetarily unless you count the furniture that was sold beforehand.  Then it was very good.  Today 'K' and my sister-in-law and maybe my brother are back over there packing up the left overs to donate.  I will head over later if they are still at it when I finish with the pest control guy.  

I also was able to find a neighbor that will come to your house and either fix your lawnmower or haul it to his shop.  Mine died Friday and I was not able to get it started.  He thinks it's a bad carburetor.  

We are looking for a little down time this week since our time won't be consumed by finishing with Mom's things.  I will most likely spend it working in the yard some more.  The high winds we had last week knocked some more big limbs down that were broken during the past ice storm.  There are still a few big ones up high I can't get to.  I will just wait on those too.  I have to cut those downed limbs up to dispose of what can't become firewood.  There are a lot of leaves that need to be addressed from all that along with the usual Spring loss that Oaks have.  I hope to also pick up some tomato plants and get them in the ground, most likely today if I am not needed at Mom's.  

The stress of Mom's thoughts being all over the map is telling.  That and the frustration of not being able to make her understand wears us out.  I don't want some of the anger I have seen ruin the so many good years we had with her.  Trying to stay positive and remind others this is not the real person we knew and loved.  Just a shadow of what once was.  I'm sure I fail.

My Brother and I shared a lot of our thoughts about the future and we seem to be pretty much on the same page.  I don't foresee any issues I have seen with families squabbling after a loved one passes.  Those things can tear a family apart.  

Happy Trails

Monday, March 20, 2023

Finally a Car Title-but not in hand

I finally managed to get the title to my Mother's car transferred to my name.  Unfortunately I won't get a copy for 3-4 weeks.  I had hoped they would print me a new one and I would be good to go.  Then I could take it to be sold the next day.  So now it sits in my driveway gathering oak pollen.  It has sat so long the battery needed to be recharged.  I will try to at least start it and let it run a few times a week to keep it charged up.  After doing some checking and talking with a friend that works at a car dealership in finance, Carmax is the best place to take a car to sell outright.  Hopefully there will be no delay with the title and I can get it out of our way.  

Mom, has had some good days lately, but the memory issues and some other things continue to crop up.  Another visit to that new doctor to get results of blood tests this week and maybe some new meds to help her will happen.  He said he could at least prevent progression of some issues.  I also hope more time getting used to where she now lives and releaving some of the stress of moving and being in an unfamiliar place will help.  She was surprised to find out other residents still had their cars and went places.  It was her argument to want her car to go and do things.  She didn't do that much going and doing before she moved here.  It's just the idea of having that thought of independence.  We assured her she wouldn't be able to find her way around the area especially with all the new construction nearly everywhere and how different things look every few weeks, not with just the highways but the massive growth in the area.  That seemed to satisfy her for the moment.  She got lost once in her own area where she lived her entire life but she denies that ever happened.  

We are one week away from the 'garage sale' at her house.  All the leftover furniture items and electronics have been sold now.  Mostly to family and the family that plans to rent the house.  They also asked about any left over items.  We planned to donate to any organization that would agree to pick up.  They offered to take everything and they would donate to their church benevolence program.  Whatever makes it easier for us.  I think all we have to do is box it or move it all to the garage area.  

I'm sorry if I have repeated other posts.  There is so much going on and I have not taken the time to verify what I have written previously.  I'm doing good just to post anything at all.  My back has also gotten quite a bit better although I did stay home from church again.  Those pews most always aggravate something in my back neck. I have nearly reduced completely my need for Ibuprofen but still wear a brace for anything upright.  Mostly just soreness and stiffness remains.  Walking Costco took a toll so I was pretty tired and sore from that.  A little at a time and not doing something stupid to aggravate it again is the key.  

Happy Trails

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Comedy of Errors

I'm such a goof.  My own errors have led to more trouble than it should have been to get my Mother's car transferred to my name and then sold.  Part of the issue is also my Mother not wanting to go places to get this done.  Having the title transferred to my name would alleviate that issue.  I struck out a second time at the DMV.  A transfer is handled by the County, not the State.  They have their own form that requires a notary public also.  SMH.  We already got two forms notarized this past Sunday.  Fortunately the notary came to her facility to do this.  She also had been a resident at the same one my Mother is at now.  Consequently she made a error on one of the forms and pretty much invalidated it.  I did not have a spare with me.  So I was left with the one valid form to transfer to my name.  The other would have transferred it to her name, (this is because Dad's name is also on the title and has since passed).  She never went to probate with his will so it never got done.  Both names on the title is causing issues that have made me determined to never do that with my own vehicles ever again.  Both now are that way.  The other issue is I signed a form when it should have been my Mother, but at least that one did not need to be notarized.  That form prevented me from even obtaining the title as is.  Not sure that would have helped at all but I thought it might be a good idea at the time.  

One other thing the county requires is a valid inspection 'not more than 90 days old.'  Seriously?  Well OK, hers expires this month anyway (but we hoped to sell it before then).  I get ready to go get it inspected and...dead battery.  Not really surprising, it doesn't get driven much.  It hasn't moved since we brought it out here.  Maybe 4 weeks.  I don't know, everything regarding all this has gummed up the timeframe in my mind.  It didn't get driven much at all when Mom was able.  Hence only 21,000 miles on a 2015 car.  It's now on the charger and I still hope to get the inspection done on it later today.   Then tomorrow maybe get the other form notarized and another trip to the county and see if they can get it done...of course if I have done everything right this time.  Double checking and I will have 'K' check it too.

Now back to working on our taxes.  Hope I get that right...

Happy Trails

Sunday, March 12, 2023

Life is Not Fun Right Now

On top of everything else going on with us, I am down in my back.  I have a dislocated vertebrae, the L5, that acts up every so often.  When it does, it's very painful, I can barely walk at times.  They telll me the only way to fix that is surgery.  I am avoiding that as long as possible.  I don't know anybody that has had a successful back surgery that hasn't needed more later.  I have been hitting the Ibuprofen pretty hard and icing it down.  I get a little relief but not near enough to be able to function normally.  'K's back is also bothering her.  Most all of it is in relation to moving Mom and getting ready to sell her left over things.  Too much lifting and standing.  Although I have done very little.

I had to go over and be with Mom for a little while one night.  Just spend a little time and let her talk.  She was more rational than she has been.  Usually that's all it takes to help her out.  Others involved don't seem to grasp that.  Let's just say overreaction causes us all concern.  I try very hard to keep a cool head and listen before I react.  A negative reaction, even if it is only a facial expression, works against us.  Dementia is a curse.  Hopefully the new doctor can give her some help.  She will see him Monday.

When other family is involved there can be even more stress.  Differing opinions, not doing what they think you should be doing etc.  I try also not to react to those situations.  Selling Mom's car is one thing I apparently am not doing fast enough.  Her license tags are due this month.  They want it gone before then so we don't have to pay that fee.  So I get helpful advice even though they said they wouldn't.  I get it.  I don't want to pay that either.  My back has prevented me from following up on that.  Maybe this week I can get the title from the DMV.  I will get an appointment in order to cut down on the time I have to wait and aggravate my back more.

There is much more going on behind the scenes I could rant about but would serve no purpose.  Mom does have good days too but we let the bad ones overwhelm us.  That needs to be worked on.

Life is not fun fight now, but it could always be much worse.  Our Faith sustains us.

Happy Trails

Sunday, March 5, 2023

Sunday March 5, 2023

Things are still progressing with my Mother's things.  I still haven't found the title to her car despite looking through every bit of paper work I could find.  I did find Dad's will.  It also had a couple of Affidavits of Heirship the DMV required I learned about on my first fruitless trip there.  Yes there may be another.  However, Carmax says they can facilitate the sale of a car without a title.  I will see if what I have will work or head back to the DMV.  Ugh.  Not sure when I can get back over there, hope it's soon.

We brought my Mom's car to our house yesterday to make room in her garage and have it to sell.  I can only park it outside.  Last night we were under severe thunderstorm warnings with much wind and the threat of very large hail.  We did get a little rain and very heavy winds (more branches down) but the really severe storms split and went North and South of us.  Thankful that no damage was incurred to her car.   

Mom is still pretty stressed.  Extra care is needed, walking on egg shells basically.  We are all worn out.  The girls have handled most of this and it is telling on them now.  Many tears have been shed.   

Monday I had to get a tire repaired.  The third time in less than a year.  After three patches, it will require a new tire.  Well guess what.  Another screw in the same tire yesterday.  I have an appointment to get that done today at Discount Tire.  They have repaired that thing for free every time.  Now I will buy from them.  And wow those things have jumped about a 100$ per tire from the last time I bought tire.  There is a lot of road and home construction in this area.  Apparently there are no clean streets around here, at all.  I will have to run into town to get this done and come back out during the Friday rush hour which is much worse than any of the other days.  

'K' is over at Mom's apartment again today trying to get her china cabinets se up with all her junk.  It's not junk to her but it is an issue for us.  She lost the key to one so I disabled the lock.  Now she worries someone will get into it and steal something.  Just another symptom of what we suspect.  We sought help/advice for dealing with this (I can't go into the embarrassing details) but it appears there isn't much to be done other than redirect her thoughts.   That doesn't help much.  We are trying to get her into a doctor on the grounds of her facility her specializes in gerontology and internal medicine.  Maybe he can help some.  

Starting Monday the two older Grandkids will come stay with us for three days.  Just something else to deal with along with everything else.  Hopefully we can get a little help from them when we head over to Mom's.  We don't get to spend much time with them like we did when they were much younger so we look forward to it.  Keeping teenagers entertained that long of a time is a real challenge for us at this age.  

I am keeping a positive and attitude and try to encourage the others as best I can.  

Happy Trails

Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Feeling the Pressure (Tuesday Afternnoon)

I have been very busy the last week and into this one.  Hence the later than usual post.  Being busy is usually a good thing but I am feeling pressured by others.  We are trying to wrap up getting my Mother's house ready for a garage sale that we hope will get rid of most of what's left and that's not much.  Most of it's clothes, lots of clothes.  Both my Mother's and my Dad's.  She just hasn't been able to let go of his things.  Whatever doesn't sell will be donated somewhere.  We hope to a place that can haul it off.  

I am handling the disposal of my Mother's car.  We finally convinced her that she shouldn't be driving anymore.  I've got an estimate based on the Kelly Blue Book and Carmax even made an offer online that's in line with the estimate.  Simple right?  We can't find the title.  OK, apply for a replacement.  Again, no big deal other than spending almost 2 hours waiting in line to get it done and striking out.  I had all the documents they listed online and then some.  However, no one knew who was listed on the title as owner.  So I was prepared with a death certificate for my Father and a power of attorney.  Since Dad has passed they wanted to know if he had a Will.  Yes, but we didn't go to probate.  So everything I had was useless without a signed and notarized Affidavit of Heirship.  Not listed anywhere that I found on the website.  So I am going to make an extra effort to find her copy of the title.  Not sure that will be any good either with my Dad's name still on it.  I'll see about the Heirship thing and see how that goes.  Or find a copy of his will but since we didn't go to probate...

Mom's house has a deposit from a renter already.  Got it a week ago.  April 1 is the move in day. I understand the feeling of getting it all done in time.  So I am rearranging my brain to get with the program so we can move on from this stuff.  

I found a place online that sells onion bulbs.  They are here in Texas and the ones I got are the 10/15 sweet onions.  I couldn't find ANY onion bulbs anywhere here.  We are just barely still in the last part of planting for them.  Of course I assume the heat will determine if they will be successful.  Next will be potatoes again.  Earlier this time.  Hopefully that will help too.  I have to find some tomatoes.  It's much earlier than I usually plant tomatoes.  And I have a feeling a late frost is very likely.  But I do want them in the ground earlier this year than last.  Maybe mid March will be OK.  HEB usually carries them.  I don't buy them there, it just tells me my usual place is likely to have them too.  So I will keep my eyes open.

We did go out for our usual birthday steak dinner last night.  Mine wasn't as good as usual, 'K's' was great.  I wasn't very good company due to feeling the pressure I mentioned, and we were both beat so celebrating the 70th (I can't say 'K's' age)was a flop.  Can I get a do over and just be 69 one more year?

I'm sure there's tons more I could tell you but my mind is pretty much pudding now.  So I will sign off.

Happy Trails


Monday, February 20, 2023

Last Day of Packing Before Tomorrow's Big Move

Today, Monday is the last day before the movers come to get everything of my Mother's things to her new place.  I had planned to head over with 'K' this morning. or at least tomorrow for the actual more.  However 'K' believes having less people around is less stressful for my Mother.  She has been pretty confused and calls 'K' over and over about the same things.  The closer the move gets, it has caused her more stress.  The more stress, the less capable she is and more confused.  Hopefully 'K' and my sister-in-law can get things wrapped up for the big day and help my Mother be a little calmer.  We are looking forward to a little down time from all this later this week.  Or maybe later.  I anticipate a lot of phone calls from her the first few days, trying to find her things and her way around the facility.  There will be some adjustments as we learned from her first move with my Dad a few years ago. 

Tomorrow is 'K's birthday.  I will make it up to her when this is over.  A great steak is something she always enjoys at her favorite steak house.

I will try to stay busy to keep my mind moving while all this is gong on.  I will start cleaning out the years of collected junk etc. in my garage.  There is enough there to keep me very busy but I also need to head to the grocery store.  That will take precedent and then...

Happy Trails