Familiarity

Kim was relating a story to me about a friend that provides care for her Mother.  The Mother is very sweet to the doctors that treat her and everyone else, to the point she accepts everything they tell her without question, even when she should have more treatment and they tell he she is done.  This is frustrating for Kim's friend.  The Mother will argue with the daughter about things like this but accepts it from people she doesn't know. 

Kim and I started discussing this briefly.  She had seemed perplexed as to why the 'Mom' would accept anything a stranger told her, yet argue with her daughter.  Apparently it happens with other people too, not just the doctors. 

My view of it was and is that that is pretty common.  I know I have a tendency to be very patient with others doing their jobs, often at my own expense.  I look at it as if it was me doing a job, how would I want to be treated, they are just trying to do their job.  I know I often put up with more than Kim would and I think she is very patient.  Of course, unless you do something extremely dumb on the road near me. Yeah, that ticks me off pretty quick, but I'm getting better.  But that usually doesn't get related to the 'dummy.'  Kim is the one that hears my rants not the other driver, usually.  So her take would probably be different lol.

I also realize I am less patient when it comes to Kim and every day things, our regular interaction.  We both admit we are less patient with each other than we are with others/strangers.  We both realized and came to the conclusion it shouldn't be that way at all.  We know this deep inside us but never really voiced it.  Well at least not when we weren't pissed at each other lol.

It seems much easier to get upset with a loved one, and express it over certain things, than it is with others at times.  I think it is the familiarity (root word family?) that allows us to be this way.  We are much more familiar with family and thus comfortable to say what we think.

I am pretty 'old school' if you haven't realized that by now.  There is a person inside that is 'public,' the person I want the outside world to see.  It's not a lot different than the private person, but I have my guard up.  I try to be polite, courteous, and considerate.  Yet while I am not overtly friendly, if you speak I will too, and may even stand there speaking more to you than you may have expected.  I generally don't initiate a conversation with strangers, it seems to get me some strange looks at times.  Kim has no trouble with doing that regardless of any sideways looks.

Why is it that we can treat the love of our life worse at times than we would other folks?  There is no way in my mind this can be justified, but it happens, way more often than it should.  Familiarity and feeling a bit too comfortable with others is a good thing most times, but not at the expense of our loved ones.  It's something I will make a conscious effort to improve on.  But even then, that familiarity thing keeps getting in my way much to often.

Happy Trails